If you spend much time around AA, you’re pretty sure to hear the three adjectives together, in that order: happy, joyous, and free.

Golly, who wouldn’t want that?

It’s an insider code, too, like, “are you a friend of Bill’s?”  Of course, that one’s pretty much outta the bag after half a century or so, but we still have a few in.

Happy, joyous, and free is one.  You can get a bumper sticker or a shirt or a mug, some pretty wall hanging, that lets the insiders know.  It’s not an official, unofficial slogan (those would be the five pages with scripty black and red letters hanging in many a clubhouse in the order that forms the secret uber-slogan, “live easy but think first”).  Nevertheless, happy-joyous-and-free is repeated separately enough to be a slogan on its own.  Almost a mantra.

Why not?  What a wonderful ideal.  Really, if you’re looking for more outta life than that you’re missing the point, right?  How could anyone find fault with happy-joyous-and-free?

I can: when they seem like a yardstick or a goal.  Especially in recovery.

I don’t often feel free.  Not at all.  Not joyous, and not free.  Not even happy.  In meetings, I’ll tell em, “It’s nice you got it happy, joyous, and free, but it ain’t like that for all of us.  For me, recovery’s been like bein released from solitary confinement into the general population.  If you got released to the outside, good for you.  Not all of us serve the same term.”

The result of the Twelve Steps—so it says right in that last Step—is “a spiritual awakening.” 

“Well, of course,” you may say.  “When you’ve had a spiritual awakening, it means you’re happy, joyous, and free!”

Hmmm.  I gotta wonder: if they meant happy-joyous-and-free, why didn’t they say that?  They were pretty careful about the words they chose.  A bunch of people went over that list with a fine-tooth comb before it ended up in our laps.

That little mantra is from the Big Book, the chapter called “The Family Afterward.”  What you won’t hear nearly as often, I guarantee, is the whole sentence where those three, little upbeat words are found: “We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.”  Still not too bad for a mantra, but a bit wordy for a slogan, yes?  What’s the maximum verbage for a slogan?  I think we call it at about four words.  Five can be okay, but you’re startin to press your luck.  We really like three.  “Death before dishonor.”  “We shall overcome.”  “Just do it.”  Forget about the and, which is easy, and we’ve got ourselves a real winner!  It’s a slogan to be happy, joyous, and free about!

Except…what was that first part, again?

“We are sure God wants us to be….”

That’s the part!

To this day, folks who “are sure what God wants,” gimme the willies.  I wanna back away from them; avoid em best I can.  For some of us, it’s tough enough to figure there might be Something Out There.  Figuring out what It might want is a full time job.  Figuring out what It wants with certainty?  Hoo-whee.  What are the odds of that?

AA is made up of all kinda groups.  I discovered I don’t hafta be part of every “we,” and I can still be part of AA.  If you all are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free, I’ll be standin over here, away from y’all—but still in the same room—the room that holds all of us who have a desire to stop drinking.